Forever is a promise
by Ms. Wolf
Summary: After being witness of a terrible breakdown, kakashi decides to emend his past mistakes by offering his support to his ex-student Sakura, The only problem is: She needs more than a friend.
1. Chapter 1

**Title name|**Forever is a promise

**Summary|** After being witness of a terrible breakdown, kakashi decides to emend his past mistakes by offering his support to his ex-student Sakura, The only problem is: She needs more than a friend.

**Pairing| **Kakashi-Sakura

**Rated| **M (Mature content) for gore, language and inappropriate scenes in later chapters.

**Author Note|**

_Hello sugar bunnies;_

_Real quick… This story was once posted by me and now reposted, __but__ it's now a bit changed. It's not finished so it'll develop and update very slowly, I accept any kind of ideas, comments or anything to improve or add to it._

_About the rating, I first intended to rate it 'T' but I like smut, so it's possible that we'll see it in a few chapters. That's it. Enjoy._

_-XO Ms. Wolf_

|_Naruto and all characters are property of Masashi Kishimoto|_

**Forever is a promise**

"_Love is not written on paper, for paper can be erased. Nor is it etched on stone, for stone can be broken. But it is inscribed on a heart and there it shall remain __forever__."___

**Chapter 1**

_Two years ago…_

_She knew something was wrong the minute she went inside, the house looked different, she felt no one. Something was in the air; probably some lingering chakra very similar to her mother's but it was fainting right in one place._

_Feeling a little bit unsecure, she pulled out a kunai from her pocket and made her way in the house to the disappearing chakra._

_After a few seconds she stood outside her parents' room, realizing that not only her mother's chakra lingered there but another as well, she just couldn't figure out who it belonged to, she had felt it before, she knew that she should remember, but she didn't._

_She carefully opened the door always ready to attack if something was there, but as she opened the door, she forgot about it, she forgot about being careful, she forgot about being quiet, she simply forgot everything, she was numb, paralyzed and shattered._

_The sighting of her mother thrown on her bed, bleeding and barely alive made her fall._

_After several seconds that took for the image to sink in, she ran desperately towards her, tears began to stream from her face uncontrollably; the feeling was too much, she collapsed on her bed besides her mother, trying to figure out what was wrong, what had happened to her?_

_All the bruises and marks on her mother's naked body were too obvious to be misunderstood, she had been raped._

_Her mother was barely moving, barely twitching in pain, she was dying, not only they raped her but they managed to bleed her, the cuts on her wrists had done all the work._

_She quickly grabbed her almost-unconscious mother and with all the strength she had left, she carried her to the hospital._

_On her way there everything seemed like a dream, a very cruel dream or maybe genjutsu. She prayed with all her heart that it was, just a really cruel genjutsu. She prayed that her mother was ok in her house, probably making dinner… smiling. The thought of that sight made her start to cry even harder, she could no longer feel her legs moving as fast as they could, she couldn't feel the warm blood staining her shirt, all she could feel was painful agonizing sorrow._

_When she got to the hospital everything happened with a flash, nurses running towards her; her mother being placed onto a stretcher, everyone starting to run and she could only stand there and watch._

_She wanted to help but she knew she didn't even have enough chakra to heal a simple scratch; her faith was placed on some other ninja medics who she prayed to kami with all her soul they could save her._

_She was a medic, she knew the possibilities of her mother making it out alive, she had lost too much blood, not even she was sure she could save her if she was able to heal her but nevertheless her hopes stayed in that minimal percentage of life._

_After several minutes, that almost seemed like years, a nurse finally came out. Deciding not to look at her until she told her the news, her head stayed down, hoping for the best._

"…_I'm sorry…" those were the only words she needed to hear to be able to decipher what happened. The nurse kept talking but she couldn't hear no more._

_Her mother was dead…_

It turned out to be one of those painful red sky days, when the sun seems to want to melt on top of the farthest mountains and cure away its own ache, the air seemed light, dancing around the trees, flaunting the liberty that had been given to him, birds beginning to notice time and my mind starting to wander off into the messy tangles of my life.

I had been sitting in the bench for a while just drifting off into nowhere and I never noticed when she passed by, I never saw when she lit her cigarette or when she shivered as the air became cold, but there she was, it has been already three days that I've seen her there just watching the horizon, in complete solitude in the breaking twilight. She stands there just silent, just gazing into the sunset as if her only hope was drifting away from her. That day she looked heartbroken, almost collapsing inside and her face showed no trace of delight in her life. The trees nearby had probably grown accustomed to her, because they showed no restraints to sway in her presence, almost understanding the way she felt.

I stood there motionless just watching her sigh, expelling most of the smoke she had inhaled from her cigarette meanwhile an occasional tear ran down her face.

I was about to leave, my problems were enough for me to be wandering about someone else's, but I couldn't, I just couldn't walk away, her presence was enthralling, and somehow her pain touched me. She was alone, she _needed _someone.

I walked up to her side, she didn't turn almost seemed like my presence was unnoticed, but I knew she had felt my eyes on her a while ago, she wiped her tears from her cheek and continued gazing to the sky as if looking for answers or comfort.

"Do you have some light?" I finally asked, as I made a movement to show her my cigarette.

"Oh, sure" she said, and started searching her pockets, until she finally found the lighter and handed it to me.

I turned on my cigar, having in my mind the thought that I _was_ trying to quit smoking but the opportunities just fell into my arms.

She probably never saw me smoke before; in fact I think she never even noticed any habit of mine. She didn't need to, I was never a part of her life; I was never there for her.

We both stayed there doing nothing but watching the horizon in comfortable silence and filling our lungs with smoke as thoughts began to cloud our minds.

I saw her stoke her cheek a few times wiping tears from her face. I have to admit it, after all these years I never paid attention to how grown up the girl was, when did she even start smoking? How old was she 20, 21? And how did she grow to be so pretty? I mean she wasn't gorgeous but she had a beautiful face accompanied by a not-bad toned body, she wasn't tall but she was slender with just the right assets, her strawberry-hair running down her pale skin onto her waist, when did she grow it?. Why was she even alone?

"…Do you need something?" she asked with anannoyed expression and not even turning to look at me.

It wasn't until then when I noticed that I had been staring at her without blinking. She must have gotten a bit irritated.

"Oh no, it's nothing." I said smiling, trying to hide the embarrassment caused for staring at the body of an ex-student.

She just stood there gazing at the horizon, obviously avoiding any type of conversation she could have with me, I don't blame her.

I risked another look to her face and I was lost, tears began to make their way again, her expression turned to despair and I couldn't handle it, it was too much pain, looking at her was like looking at a mother who just lost her son, the depressing expression on her face could simply be compared to the cruel afternoon that leaves to permit the darkness take over this world abandoning all hope of light. Her eyes looked vague, completely hollow and damp with the sadness that refused to leave, these were accompanied by dark shadows that revealed her exhaustion and lack of sleep and her lips had no sight of an upcoming smile.

She had changed… no, life changed her. I knew her before this, I remember the bubbly brat, who was constantly claiming she was in love, the little girl who was more worried about her hair than her stance. I was her teacher before Tsunade, her partner after Naruto's return, but with her jounin graduation the indifference showed up. After our team split we almost never spoke and it had been a year since we actually crossed eyes. She must see me as a stranger now. I didn't know why it happened though, why our constant meeting smile turned into barely noticeable gestures to finally nothing.

I felt the need to talk to her, to tear her apart from the rain, I felt inside me the urge to see her smile, after all it's not like I didn't care about her, I _was_ her ex-sensei, but… I didn't know what to say…

"Nice sunset, isn't it?" I finally said

She looked at me giving a faint fake smile. It didn't matter though, at_ least_ she tried.

"Yes… almost painful in a way" She responded

She seemed somewhat distracted, as if something was out in the horizon that she was missing, something valuable; something that could take her pain away.

"You come here often; I've seen you almost three days here"

"Yes, this place is really… comforting" she answered, her voice sounded a bit broken, I imagined it was due to her crying before.

I felt guilty, for everything that she had been through; I was never there to support her, to help her carry the pain.

The rumors about what happened to her were very cruel and always accompanied by a pitiful _'Poor girl'_. What hurt the most is that it was true; she had suffered too much on her own. I can't imagine even myself going through it… again.

"…sensei?" I was doing it again I kept staring at her; she probably was getting a pretty bad image of me.

"Sorry, I zoned out. But you're right this place is really comforting, it's one of the few places where I can get my thoughts cleared out." I said looking at the melted light on top of the mountains.

"…I wish…I could do that…" She mumbled practically to herself.

"Do what?"

"…Clear my mind." She answered in a painful whisper.

I knew what she was talking about, her expressions said it all. She was living on her past, clinging onto the aching feeling of emptiness that would never go away.

She froze, her sorrow began to turn into liquid that fled her body through her eyes, into that painful venom that never seems to disappear and comes leaking out endlessly when the rest of your body can't come up with a different emotion.

I didn't know what to say, I _had_ to say something.

"I'm…sorry" I practically whispered

…_Silence…_

"I-I wish…I wish it never happened…" she sobbed.

I couldn't say anything to her, there was nothing to say, what could I? All I could do was hold her during her break down, and so I did, I stood in front of her and held her in a tight embrace.

"…_I'm so sorry…"_

She reminded me so much of myself when I was a child, when I had lost my own parents. I remembered the pain, she shouldn't have gone through this; no one should, not like that. Not alone.

Even though we had shared the similar type of pain, it wasn't exactly the same. I had already gone over it but she hadn't, in fact, she was remembering it again, everything that happened to her was back in her head as if it were happening again…

"…I'm sorry" I whispered as I held her tighter, her sobs had gotten louder and I knew it was still too real for her.

"...don't say it… please, don't say you're… sorry" She begged.

I wasn't sure why she asked me that, but I did notice that blurting out those words hurt her more than I thought.

I silenced and waited for her to calm down.

After a few minutes her body stopped trembling, the tears in her face began to dry and her breath evened out.

"Are you ok?" I asked; suddenly worried as I felt her knees beginning to weaken and her body loosing grip.

"…yes…" She whispered into my chest.

I helped her get to the nearest bench so she could sit, her knees were trembling and her face showed extreme exhaustion.

We sat there for several minutes in silence, the night had already crept up on us and there was no one else at the park anymore.

"…Thank you…" She whispered.

A smile crept up my face.

"There's nothing to thank" I said, wishing that those damp emerald eyes would meet my gaze

"It's getting late, let me walk you home" I offered as soon as I saw her yawn.

We made it back to her house in absolute silence; I just didn't feel I could say anything. Even though I could've been able to say something I wouldn't have said it, she just looked so exhausted, like she couldn't even walk and I understood, sorrow feeds out of life.

"Well, here we are"

"Yes… Thank you" She said in a very faint voice.

"There is absolutely nothing to thank"

"Yes, there is. Thank you for talking, for holding me, for smiling, for the walk… Thank you"

There it was, that smile in her eyes, I hadn't seen it the whole afternoon, but there it was again, the same gleam she had when she was younger, before hell came crumbling down on her.

"Well, I guess you're welcome, although I didn't mind, it was a nice afternoon to be with someone I appreciate, by the way if you ever need anything, no matter how silly, you know where I am, ok?"

"Thank you… sensei" she whispered

That was it, in a few moments I was about to leave and not see her again, I was going back to missions and she was going back to depression. I couldn't stand it, I knew I had to help, I knew I could if I was in her life again.

"Do you like tea?"I asked, not even sure of what I was planning.

"Well yes, I guess." She looked confused and extremely adorable.

"Alright then I'll see you tomorrow. How does five o' clock at the 'Haru tea house' sound?" I asked not even waiting for a response.

"Umm…"

"Great, see you tomorrow, by the way, please bring a smile" I couldn't risk being rejected.

As I walked towards my house I knew I hadn't done the most correct thing but I had to do something, I couldn't just let this girl… no, woman, crumble down the rest of her life. She had to start living again, she had to smile and I was going to try to do my best to help her even if she didn't want to.


	2. Chapter 2

|_Naruto and all characters are property of Masashi Kishimoto|_

**Chapter 2**

_1 year and 10 months ago…_

_The trees rustled under the feet of the shinobi that leaped from branch to branch, it was cold, the pitch black night giving an excellent cover for everything including the stars and the moon. The four shinobi made their way through the forests of fire country onto the borders of wind._

_After three months of mourning, Sakura had been given part in this mission acting only as a medic and if necessary, replacement. She was still under stress and a medium rank mission with a low participation rate was thought to be the best._

_As the Hokage himself had said, the mission was simple: annihilate a group of rebel shinobi hidden near Suna, no witnesses. According to ranking this was a 'B' mission and practically nothing could go wrong._

_The missing nin were a simple group of shinobi with no special abilities and barely decent skills in tajitsu. They had abandoned the village about four months ago and had been spotted now causing trouble in a small village of wind._

_Although the mission was fairly simple, Sakura could feel her heart racing as she leaped from one tree to another, Neji who had been assigned as team captain had warned her only a few minutes before:_

"_I know it's a difficult time for you and I'm sorry, but I can't risk anything being screwed so you better keep your mind on focus."_

_This was her first mission after her mother's death, she already knew it wasn't going to be easy but she never though it could be hard. She was scared she knew her heart should feel that way, she wasn't supposed to be so anxious, she felt 12 again._

_As she tried to control herself, her gaze fell upon the two shinobi members she met the day before, Akane and Kyou who leaped gracefully and very closely to each other among the trees. She wondered if they weren't afraid of losing each other, if they're love was so strong it could break the barriers of fate, she deeply wondered if they weren't afraid of death._

_Her mother's passing had left her with a completely different view of death, she feared it. She knew it wasn't normal for a shinobi to feel that way, but she couldn't help it._

_While she was dreaming in thought, she barely noticed everyone had stopped; she had to pull herself back to reality to make her feet stand still, although she didn't know what was going on._

_Neji had spotted the enemy only a few meters away, somebody had made a mistake on their location and now they needed a few seconds to get ready, but Sakura couldn't think at the time._

_Everything happened within seconds._

_All of a sudden her feet began to move with will of their own, she leaped from behind the trees and single handedly attacked her enemy._

_Her mind was blocked, her eyesight was blurred and she heard no more than her heartbeat, when she got a glimpse of what was happening all she could see was a burst of red, warm blood that splattered all over her face and shirt._

_Neji suddenly jumped out to protect her from the enemy attacking from behind and Akane was helping Kyou with another one._

_Once Sakura realized that the blood belonged to none of her friends, she managed to see the body of a rebel ninja on the ground, kunai at its throat. She had managed to kill one in a matter of seconds but she knew something was wrong._

_Something bothered her, she knew it was probably the fact that she had jumped out from cover exposing herself and her allies as well as jeopardizing the mission or maybe the fact that she was assigned to avoid confrontation, but that was something else, she could hear a consuming sound, a very near one but she couldn't hear exactly where it came from…_

_Then she heard a voice._

"_Sakura watch out!"_

_She barely heard those words when Kyou jumped and grabbed her by the waist to drag her away from the body of the ninja that was about to explode. It wasn't fast enough._

_She saw a flash of red, kunais flying everywhere as well as pieces of flesh dropping all over the ground; she felt the grip on her waist loosen at the same time as the chakra belonging to that body disappeared._

_As soon as her feet touched the ground, the body of Kyou that clung to her body collapsed on top of her._

_She quickly took everything in. The body of one rebel ninja lying on the ground, probably the one Kyou managed to kill before leaping to help her, Neji giving one final blow to the last rebel ninja and Akane screaming in pain and sorrow, finally she looked at Kyou, he was lying on top of her and she began to notice something warm on her thighs._

_With a trembling hand she turned him over and gasped at the horrible view at her reach._

_On his attempt to save her, he couldn't block all of the kunais aimed at him, at least not one of the most dangerous ones. He had been stabbed, right in his skull._

_Blood began to make its way all over his face and all the way to her thighs._

"_Kyou!"_

_Akane's screams echoed in her head, she knew that even though she was a medic, she couldn't help him no matter how hard she tried. He was dead, he died the instant the kunai hit him._

_Today…_

The trees swayed with the autumn air, leaves danced gracefully their last choreography as gravity slowly ended their trip in the nearest ground, birds chanted a beautiful song that reminded of the dead summer days and the sun was beginning to set, poising over the tallest mountain, simply to remind us of its grandness and the time…

I found myself rushing through the streets of Konoha that despite the hour, were filled with life. More than once I stumbled upon a partner who seemed to find amusing my energetic rush.

I made it to the tea house at the exact hour, although I had the strange feeling that she wasn't coming, she had a reason. It's not like you can walk up to a person´s life and expect them to open up completely to you.

When I entered, I was ready to wait at least an hour and a half before leaving so I began searching for the nearest empty table which I didn't find; instead, I found a table at the farthest corner occupied by a lovely pink-haired woman. The sight made me smile.

"Good afternoon Sakura, I'm glad you could make it." I said as I approached the table

"Why wouldn't I?" She answered with a weak smile.

It seemed that she was feeling better today, the rings under her eyes were barely noticeable and her eyes were everything but damp. Judging by the way she looked, she had at least taken some time to dress properly and that could only be good, right?

"Could be a number of things… but anyways it's good to see you here" I said trying to cut off the piece of conversation that might simply turn too serious.

I sat down and a very _special_ waitress immediately approached us.

"What would you like to order?" She said with a giant hypocrite smile. She looked almost annoyed behind that awful mask that I assumed she called a face.

"Well, I'll have some green tea and onigri, how about you Sakura?"

"Umm…I want a cup of jasmine tea." She answered shyly

A blush spread across her cheeks, she probably hadn't been treated to dinner or even to lunch in quite a while, she looked so… innocent.

"…Uh huh" And with that the waitress took off erasing completely her horrible smile.

'_No tip for her'_

…_Silence…_

A few minutes passed and the silence was getting simply annoying, not one of us had said a single word since we ordered the tea. It was pathetic_, I_ was supposed to be cheering her up and now she looked even duller than before she noticed I was there, worst part was that I actually felt nervous to begin a conversation. After several minutes of going through my inhibition problems I managed to realize that it was due to the fact that she wasn't a little girl anymore and I couldn't treat her like one, she was a woman and to be honest I had very little experience talking to women.

"So… how is it going with the students?" she asked almost in a whisper, her eyes place on the table as if she was ashamed she'd asked.

I was a bit surprised to be honest, I didn't expect her to try to begin a conversation but I also felt a bit happy that she was at least talking and that she pulled me out of my dilemma. Although kids were probably the last thing I wanted to talk about.

"Good I guess? Anyway you like to see it, I mean they are kids so no day is the same" I answered.

She smiled.

There it was again, that melting innocent smile that made my face feel warm, a real one. I had been waiting for one like that since yesterday.

"Hmm… Looks like you miss Naruto, Kakashi sensei." She said with a teasing smile almost laughing at the gesture of horror on my face.

Naruto… Now that I think about it, he once claimed to be in love with this woman, it seems that things never worked out; in fact things came out totally different. He finally completed all of his promises; he brought back Sasuke and even became hokage. After sometime he and practically all of my students found love in a very special way and the wiz cherry, one of my best students, the one that could've had anything she wanted, got stuck in a black hole, an endless depression that never lets go…

"…sensei?" My thoughts landed in my newly brought tea as soon as I heard her voice.

"I'm sorry; my mind got stuck in the past"

_Mistake _

"Yes… the past… " She said in a low voice. Her face immediately changed, the almost happy expression began to transform into liquid inside her eyes.

I had to do something fast, she was about to lose control and I couldn't let that happen. She was supposed to be out this evening so she could have her thoughts cleared out, not so I could drown her back into depression. So I did what I could do best, make a fool out of myself.

I accidently-on purpose spilled my hot tea all over my shirt.

"…Shit" I mumbled after realizing how hot the tea actually was.

She snapped.

"Kakashi-sensei, are you all right?" She asked as her sadness began to be over shadowed by concern and the amusing sight of my shirt covered in hot tea.

"I… yeah, I guess I lost the grip on the cup" I said happily as soon as I saw her sadness disappearing.

She smiled, got up from her seat and walk towards me, napkin in hand.

"Here, let me help." She said as she leaned over to clean my shirt.

"Uh... you don't have to do that." My cheeks turned slightly pink as she rubbed my stomach with the napkin. It was a strange feeling.

"Done" She said satisfied after wiping my shirt for several seconds.

"…thanks" I said lightly.

It's not that I felt uncomfortable, of course not; it's just that it had been a long time since a woman actually touched a part of my body… not in a pervert way… I mean… forget it.

At least she looked happy now.

"Kakashi sensei, are you blushing?" She asked in a mocking tone.

"Of course not and please just kakashi." I said trying to sound serious but completely failed due to the fact that my voice went out a bit harsh.

"Ok, ok, no need to get angry." She said as she waved her hands as a sign for me to calm down.

"Forgive me, I didn't mean to snap"

"You didn't, your blush didn't allow it" She said with a smirk in her face.

I flushed.

"Anyway… you're going to need a refill" She said, trying to divert the conversation to a less embarrassing one.

She called the 'smiley face' waitress and asked for a refill. I took the opportunity to take a closer look of her expression, she looked fine, no traces of depression. I knew it was only momentary but I couldn't help wonder that if being distracted helped her get away from that painful state, why had nobody done this sooner?

"You´re not mad are you kakashi-sen… Kakashi?" She asked as soon as she saw me staring… _again._

"No, of course not, it was my fault anyway" I said while I tried to change my expression to a more relaxed one. I didn't want to her to tense up, especially after being so close to a break down.

We stayed in a comfortable silence as I waited for my tea and she began to drink hers. The scent of the jasmine tea began to wonder about, tickling my nose. The aroma began to play with my mind taking me back to the days of my active duty in the fields in thunder country where jasmine flowers grow wildly and undisturbed.

Another scent caught on my mind, a strong bitter-sweet one that brought me back to reality… My tea was on the table and Sakura was gazing at me.

"You daze off really easily don't you kakashi?" She probably ended up with that conclusion after she saw me stare several times and all the times I simply pause and forget about what is happening.

"Yes excuse me, must be pretty boring being with me." I answered, trying to apologize mostly at the thought that this _was_ a pretty boring day.

"No, no need to apologize but I do have a question, what were you thinking about? If you can…"

"Jasmine flowers, I remember being once in thunder country, where they grow wildly, the sight was mesmerizing." I could still remember the contrast, the green and white plains with the dark gray and orange sky. It was a beautiful view that I only got one opportunity of seeing.

"Thunder Country? I barely remember it. It's been so long since I've been out." She seemed disappointed as if something was bothering her.

"You'll probably have a chance to go one of these days on a mission; it has been long since I've been there too"

Her gaze fell, she wasn't happy; it seemed that I had said something that upset her, but what? I didn't say anything bold, did I?

"I'm-I… didn't mean to-"

"It's ok" she cut me "You probably didn't know anyway." She sounded hurt.

"…"

"I was released of shinobi duty" She said coldly.

"I'm so- " I was cut off again.

"Don't say you're …_sorry_, please… and its ok I know it's probably best."

"…Why?" I said confused. She might have gone through a lot and it might've hurt her going to missions at first but being away from the village could do wonders for her _mental _health. She could at least distract herself from the pain, release her anger on some other way, I didn't understand…

"Why what? Why was I released from duty?"

I nodded.

"After the incident… everything changed I wasn't the same, everyone noticed and… accidents happened. After Naruto realized that I wasn't _prepared _to go on duty anymore, he released me and said that until I recover completely I can't be a shinobi…"

"_I… I can't risk anymore lives…"_

She wasn't crying, she wasn´t sad, she was hurt and angry.

"You know, sometimes you can´t keep things from happening, they just happen and there is nothing we can do about it. You can't keep on blaming yourself for everything that happens"

"I blame myself for something that _was_ my fault." Her expression showed it all, the burden that she was carrying was too big for her, and somehow she had to get rid of it. Even though I knew that wasn't the complete source of her pain.

"Yeah, uh huh… " An annoying uninvited voice spoke up.

We both turned, and there in a middle of a private conversation she stood, that damned waitress, this time not with a smile but an arrogant look directed towards Sakura.

No matter how annoying she might've been at least she changed Sakura's expression from an angry-sad one to an annoyed one.

"Excuse me but we're in a middle of a conversation" Sakura spoke up obviously pissed.

"Yeah, whatever" She turned on the giant smile again and turned to look at me.

"Would you like anything else" she continued.

"No, thank you we're fine" I said as cold as I could and with that she took off.

"Arrgh, I hate people like her!"

I smiled; she looked cute with the angry-annoyed expression.

"What are _you_ smiling about! Well… I guess you should be happy, she seems to like you." A big smirk spread all over her face.

"What?"

She laughed, finally.

Her bubbly laughter made me feel wonderful, she had forgotten her past even if it was for a few instants and I couldn't feel happier.

The rest of the evening was used up on Sakura either teasing me about the waitress -whose name we learned was Nao- or about Ankos' indiscreet interest in me and although I was being humiliated I felt pretty good, I don't think she had laughed so much in quite a while.

"I think I should be going, it's getting late"

It was late. We had at least been here for three hours but it was still bright outside, the streets were still crowded with life and the tea house was noisier than before.

"I'll walk you home" I offered as made a gesture to Nao -who hadn't left us out of her sight since we sat- to come.

"Thank you for the offer but I'm going to make one last trip and… I would prefer if I go alone, if you don't mind"

I knew that she should have some things to take care of but I was worried, it took me all afternoon to get her in a good mood and I was afraid someone else could ruin it all.

"Of course not but… be careful"

In that precise moment Nao showed up.

"Did you need anything" she said.

I could feel her stare. Ok, so Sakura maybe was right but that horrible smile made my body tremble she looked like a witch waiting to cook some homeless kid. She wasn't ugly on the contraire; she was actually pretty but no matter how beautiful she might've been, that hideous smile banished it all.

"Yes I would like the tab… _please_" Sakura said, no, demanded.

"Oh no you don't!" I said as soon as I realized she was offering to pay.

"Why don't you let her pay? I suppose she's the one who asked _you_ out" Said Nao with a big grin on her face while picking out something beneath her nails.

We both turned to look at her. I could feel Sakura practically killing her with her glare, although mine wasn't left behind.

"Why don't you just shut up!" Demanded Sakura who seemed to be boiling up.

"Uh huh, so who's gonna pay?" She said, ignoring Sakuras' comment completely.

The decision of ignoring her was not a good one, well at least Sakura wasn't coping well with it, she looked even more livid.

"I will, besides Sakura you can't pay because I'm actually staying here for a little while before leaving so I'll pay when I leave, ok?"

"Alright then, thanks for the evening I had a great time even though we had some inconvenient and annoying interruptions" With that she turned to glare at Nao and left.

"So will you have anything else?" Said Nao with her big smile as she leaned placing a hand on the table.

"Yes, please bring me a bottle of Sake" I knew I shouldn't been drinking but I was anxious and a bottle of sake could actually help me relax.

"As _you_ wish" She leaned even more on the table and winked at me before turning to leave.

I couldn't help but think about Sakura, Where was she going? Was she going to be alright? I knew I should've been minding my own business, she _was_ an adult and she knew what was right for her but still she lingered there on my mind unwilling to let go.

"Hello Kakashi-san"

I was brought back to reality by a very familiar voice.

"Iruka, hi."

"Can I sit?" He said.

"Of course"

|_I'm sorry no proof reading in this chapter. If there are mistakes, feel free to point them out._|


	3. Chapter 3

**|Author Note|**

For those out there reading this;

First of all, let me thank you for reading this. Secondly, Ahem… As you can see, these chapters are pretty long and although they are poorly written, they do take me a lot of time to write because besides lack of inspiration and procrastination I have another long list of things that bother me and to do.

Nonetheless, I will continue writing it, but may update very… VERY slowly. So, if you still intend to keep on reading this, let me thank you beforehand for your patience.

Enjoy!

-XO Ms. Wolf

|_Naruto and all characters are property of Masashi Kishimoto|_

**Chapter 3**

_One and a half years ago…_

_Life couldn't have been more miserable for her. She had now on her shoulders the weight of two deaths that, according to herself, were her fault. _

_Apparently those deaths could've been avoided if she had been more careful, stronger, but now there was nothing she could do to mend her mistakes._

_She was going back home after spending the whole afternoon in the graveyard, her father was coming back today from his last week-long mission and she wanted to be there to greet him, after all, he was everything she had left._

_She knew that her mother's death was even more painful to her father than herself, if that was even possible, but it was. She could see his face, every time she had the chance she could see that raw sorrow that was getting permanently attached to his expression and soul, his movements became heavy, his eyes empty and she began to grow fearful of her father's health._

_As she arrived home, a familiar feeling invaded her. She experienced what many called a déjà vu, a real one._

_She had no time to think this time, or even reach for any kind of protection. She slammed the door open and rushed inside expecting the worst._

_Normally one would think that after living two terrible experiences, one would hardly feel the third one. We would think that by living those sorts of incidents one would become stronger… wrong._

_She came to a halt in the first room of the house, throwing herself to the ground as tears began to stain her face. Slowly she crawled to the corpse lying in the center of the living room. Hurtful memories rushed to her head as her arms encircled the lifeless man and took the little note beside him that said: 'Sorry'._

_Her father was dead._

_Later that day, she was told that her father killed himself with venom. He had taken the easy way out; he loved her mother too much and probably had less chances of actually living without her, but what hurt her the most was that she was not even taken into consideration, her father didn't even take a chance to consider how she was going to live without him or even ask himself is she could live without him._

_She was devastated, torn up and couldn't handle the pain anymore, her mind blacked out claiming light once again._

_When she woke up, she was put into intensive mental treatment and was banned from any type of shinobi duty, her only exception was working in the Konoha hospital as long as she kept her emotions in line._

_Now…_

The night was cold almost freezing, everything was either dead or asleep, except for the few crickets that despite of the weather were still willing to sing to their love. The wind carried a beautiful melody of despair that seemed to be written by the brightness of the full moon.

It was two in the morning and I was still awake, by then I'd already given up on tossing and turning and decided it would be best to take a walk and clear my head.

I was not sure how, but I had managed to plunge myself into a woman/ex-student's world in barely two days… well five, if sighting her presence counts.

The words Iruka spoke to me yesterday still echoed in my head, he was right…

'… _I know you're trying to help her but she's been hurt a lot and unless you're willing to commit yourself to her, my advice is to stay away and stop getting involved in something you won't be able to respond to further on'_

He was right but I was afraid. _Commit?_

I hadn't realized how far my feet had taken me or how far I had gone until I was finally in front of her building. Ignoring that fact, I kept walking with my head sunk in my thoughts and contradictions, trying to ignore my mind shouting her name. When I stopped again I realized the mistake I had already made. I was standing outside her door.

'_How did I…'_

The door opened. She stood in the door with a night robe and huge frown. I couldn't help stare.

"…What are you doing here?" She asked, a bit of grogginess could be perceived in her voice, I had _indeed_ woken her up. She must've sensed me from the moment I entered the building, she was trained as a ninja after all.

"I… um, I was walking." It _was _the truth and besides, what else could've I said? _'Oh I kept thinking about you all night so I came to see you' _yeah right.

"You were walking? …at two in the morning, when it's freezing cold and outside my apartment?" I could hear her mockery behind her sweet tone of voice. She had me.

I felt her gaze drill through my skull as she waited for an answer. When she finally realized I couldn't say anything, she sighed and gathered all her strength to seem worried, even though I knew she was only annoyed.

"Kakashi is everything alright?" No, nothing was alright and at the same time, everything was. She couldn't understand what I was feeling, Hell! I couldn't understand _myself_, I wasn't sure of _where_ I expected to get when I had butted my way into her life. It was strange, I normally didn't act on impulse and when I did, things seemed to work out just fine; I guess this just wasn't the case.

"…Kakashi?"

I wasn't sure of what I was doing here, nonetheless I _was _at her door at two in the morning waiting for something to pop into my mind so I could give her a very understandable excuse, something that could get the image of me being a stalker out of her head.

"Kakashi-sensei..."

Something warm snapped me back into reality, a gentle feeling that began in my right wrist and traveled all over my body until it hit my mind. In an attempt to snap me back to reality she had wrapped her hand around my wrist making her body heat travel through my freezing one causing a very warm reaction. Finally, I looked up to see the one face I thought I would never see this close _and_ this confused.

She seemed concerned and utterly puzzled, this time, she wasn't pretending.

"…is something wrong?" She asked. I had no idea of what to tell her, everything that came to my mind earned me a slap, but this being _Sakura_, a very powerful punch.

"No… nothing is wrong, I apologize for waking you. I should get going." It was the only thing I could manage to say, I knew very well if I told her lies she would look right through me. Not because she was a very good decipherer, but more because I was a terrible liar.

I turned around ready to leave, when I felt a light tug at my jacket.

"No don't… I mean, please stay."

I froze. I didn't know what to say, I wasn't even sure if I heard her correctly, did she actually _ask_ me to stay? Was she joking?

I turned around to make sure she wasn't about to burst out in laughter or shout calling me a pervert for considering the offer, but when I did, none of that happened, in fact I saw something entirely different. Her face was calm, pure honesty reflected in her eyes, in those beautiful emerald orbs that looked so fresh and vivid in comparison to her tragic life.

"I have tea…" She offered. A pink blush crept to her cheeks as she smiled shyly turning her gaze away from me.

I considered my options, number one being: Stay, drink some tea, talk, not go to bed again and have a horrible day tomorrow due to headache and fatigue. Second: Leave, attempt to rest, have a headache due to bashing in the wall after I decline her offer and have another pitiful day at the training grounds while I try to ignore my own thoughts. Of course, even though I would end up hating me at some point throughout the day, I chose the former.

"Tea sounds wonderful."

Her apartment was not what I once imagined it to be, well to make it clearer: it was not pink everywhere and had posters of young men on her walls. Her apartment was filled with simplicity and grace. Her living room was small but it felt so harmonious. An aroma lingered throughout the room, some kind of mix between jasmine and vanilla; a flower bouquet was placed in the table near the center of living room. The only window there was decorated with long beautiful lilac curtains with bright stamps of fire breathing dragons who matched perfectly with her lilac couch. At the far end of one the corners was a tall but not wide bookshelf filled with many books that seemed like they weren't touched in ages, the assortment of her books astounded me, although most books were medical books, she had also a wide assortment of what included novels, cookbooks and plenty of school books, it was a shame she hadn't read in a long time or so it seemed, but out of everything she might've had the things that most caught my attention were the many pictures of her family on the little tables near the couch.

"Umm.. Make yourself comfortable."

She left the living room and headed to her kitchen just beside it, by the sounds that came from her direction I assume she was looking for some kind of pot.

I examined her pictures, grabbing a few to look at them more closely. Many were pictures of her mother and probably other members of her family; the one I liked though was one of her and her father playing. She looked so young, innocent and most of all happy. Her father on the other side, looked like, well… a father, which reminded me of another person who had been acting like a father earlier.

_Five and a half hours earlier…_

_After two and a half bottles of sake, and one hour entirely consumed, two Konoha shinobi found themselves completely at ease talking about a certain ex-student and her problems involving one of her teachers._

"_All I'm saying is that you should be careful with your decisions 'and' actions Kakashi-san." At the moment Iruka's voice sounded father-like and his expression was full of concern._

"_What do you mean actions Iruka?" Although Kakashi knew exactly what he was talking about he wondered if the decent academy teacher would actually mention it._

"_Well you already know that Sakura is a very pretty girl, not to mention talented and if you plan to go ahead and 'seduce' her, you should be very aware of 'why' you're doing it and where it could get you."_

_Kakashi couldn't control himself at the moment and got into a fit of laughter. To his reasoning, Iruka was giving this too much though and getting extremely wrong conclusions._

"_I'm not seducing her Iruka; I'm just trying to help her, that's it." Kakashi said in between laughs._

"_Well it's pretty difficult to perceive it like that because you 'did' take her out on a date."_

_At that statement, Kakashi went cold, he never thought of their 'meeting', as he preferred to call it, being some kind of a date._

"_Look, I know you must be thinking that I'm getting the wrong conclusions and that you're only trying to make her feel ok, but have you thought about her. I mean, have you thought what went through her head when you, well… asked her out?" continued Iruka._

_Truth be told Kakashi hadn't thought about it, in fact he hadn't even considered the outcome of it from a different point of view, but he was almost certain that Sakura would've never even consider that type of though._

"_-And before you begin to argue, let me tell you that there is nothing wrong with being her partner, why would there? Age? Age is just a number, it doesn't count. You have got to admit that Sakura turned into a stunning woman, she is very pretty, is very smart and most of all… she needs someone to love her and that someone could be you. "_

_Iruka felt wrong, he knew it wasn't right to tell that man that he should consider being his ex-student's lover, but he had tried it all. Sakura's depression was no longer superficial, but buried deep beneath her heart, in a place where only a few could reach. _

"_I'm must apologize Kakashi-san, I know I'm no one to be telling you this but nonetheless I will say that I care for her too and I know you're trying to help her but she's been hurt a lot and unless you're willing to commit yourself to her, my advice is to stay away and stop getting involved in something you won't be able to respond to further on, this girl needs a lot more than friendship, do you think that we haven't tried helping her? Well we all have, but friendship can only do so much, there's nothing more we can give her and she 'needs' more, can you give her more?"_

_Now…_

"My father…" A sorrowful voice pulled me out of thought and back into damp green eyes.

At the moment I could swear my mind was making no type of connections it was empty of reasoning, there were only three things I could perceive: One, the smell of jasmine tea; two, the tears that began to form in Sakura's eyes and three, the closeness of her face to mine. Without even thinking it twice, I did the two things I never thought of doing by my own will.

I pulled down my mask and kissed her.

What happened next, I have no idea of how to describe it, it was everything I had always longed for, but with the sweet taste of a sin. I knew it was wrong and probably, when Sakura realized what was happening, she would kill me… literally, but for now it was so worth it. The taste of her soft, sweet lips sent adrenalin rushing throughout my body, the enthralling scent of her skin made my whole body shudder and the soft whimper that escaped her lips was enough to make me forget about the present.

"_Kakashi…"_

**|Author Note|**

For those out there reading this;

First of all, let me thank you for reading this. Secondly, Ahem… As you can see, these chapters are pretty long and although they are poorly written, they do take me a lot of time to write because besides lack of inspiration and procrastination I have another long list of things that bother me and to do.

Nonetheless, I will continue writing it, but may update very… VERY slowly. So, if you still intend to keep on reading this, let me thank you beforehand for your patience.

Enjoy!

-XO Ms. Wolf


End file.
